working life (:
work & work & work.

back to prizestage to work.
last min called back to work today.
and was send to cathay(:

not too bad.
just sit there for whole day
doing nothing & really nothing.
& i really mean nothing.
almost fall asleep.
yawn*

got free ride from steven.
thanks yah :DDDDDDDDDD
dinner or i can say supper,
with boyfriend (:
thankd for coming down,
to have dinner with me.
muacks*

working tmr as well.
noon to midnight yeah ~
hopefully i can survive well !
hahas (:

sometime, i just..
realize that i'm not a good girlf.
need alot of improvement.
still trying hard,
hopefully wont get too depressed
on the road of trying..

jiayous shinyi
jiayous allan
TOGETHER (:

blog blog blog

in the morning.
went to meet boy.
have my only meal @ his house.
slacked awhile.

before i went to meet,
jingyi,elton,jiaqi,junliang and gary.
they have lunch at cu.
and we went to JP to walk ard.
kimhong come to join us (:
the guys 笑点very low.
keep laughing like hell ~

walked ard, have fun.
and i went off to work.
back to work at prizestage (:
at first was quite bored uhs.
cos all the ppl idk mah.
lucky ahbee came in the evening.
teehee*

warner & yibei came as well.
saw shuyi and friends & yitian (:
and of cos some regular customers!
hahas.

work till 2am.
&steven send me home. *thanks :D
work on this weekend also.
since i got nothing to do at home.
& couldnt find new job.
so why not right (:

oh, caimiao working on 20th this month?
oh yessss ~ :D

blogging..
i'm starting to miss the old me.
the old old me, shinyi.

it feels just so..
i dun know, so not me.
appearing happy & strong,
appearing stubbon & unreasonable.
yet deep downn..
i just feel so heartbreaking,
tearing.

it really dun feels good,
to quarrel with someone actually..
you love deep down yet you just cant help it.
theres something you cant prevent it,
you cant do anything..
&once it happened, theres no turning back.
cause it just seems so hard.

even after 3days,
we didnt talk or quarrel.
i still tears when i tot of it.
drops of tears thats flows,
you couldnt imagine how heartbreaking i'm.
i believe it applys to her too.

is just that,
we both dunno how to turn back.
i never wanted to win in this game.
i just wants some fairness (attention) ?
this may sounds like drama show,
where kids seek attention by going against parents.
am i one of these kids?

i may not be as hardwoking as big bro.
i may not be as smart and clever as second bro.
but i may not lose them when it comes to being filial.
but well, filial cant be seen.
i may not be the best daughter in the world,
but i try to give her my every best.
yet..
it seems that none have touched her.

since young till now..
at least this is how i felt.
but before they even blame me for this,
have they even find out why..
do they even understand what i'm thinking,
why i'm thinking this..

just bcos i'm not good in studies,
does that means that i'm none better dhen bro.
even when how great my cca were,
cca is my greatest good point of me.
yet it seems nothing..
how great.

cause no matter how well i've done.
is never enough for them.
all i get is not saying how good i'm
is saying i could do better,
& how lousy i've done.
never in my memories,
i rmb my parents ever paise me.

but still,
i hate to see my mum this state.
i will try to turn everything over.
i hope i can. but no big chance.
tired... lost hopee~

how great will it be,
if that bottle of yakult i just drank..
was a bottle of hard liquor~
so that all the unhappiness will just
disappear at least for now..

thank god! i still have you.
that accompany me thru this darkness.
you hold me close to your chest,
& assure me you're right here with me C:

kinda feeling better now.
at least better dhen ytd yeah!
but still.. so sucky.

morning woke up,
went breakfast as usual.
nothing much, din talk any,
just like a 哑巴!
sucks.

just when i tot,
i couldnt find my smiles in this family anymore.
theres this man, that manage to make my smile appear!
this man, that looks stict & unfriendly.
this man, that may sounds unreasonable.
this man, that seldom talk much nor complain.
but..
this man, willing to save up for others.
this man, willing to do silly things to cheer me up.
this man, willing to give up his sleep just to wait for me.
this man, willing to care & love me.
well..
this man is my beloved DADDY ♥

just when i tot, i lost the happiness in the family.
just when i tot, i'm so alone so down since ytd.
just when i tot, nobody cares for me.
he appeared, he stood by myside.
cares & console me ~
he din asked what happened ytd,
he din say anything but deep down
i know he cares for me & love me.
theres so much i wanted to tell him,
that i love him so much..
he is the best daddy ever!

i love you daddy.

of cos,
theres another man that stood by me..
care for me, nevertheless love me sooo damn much.
this man, as you all can guesss.
is my beloved boyfriend, allan tan♥
(:

okay, all his silly things.
and his sweet & lovely actions.
i know you all not interested arhh.
so is for me to know, for you to find out.
heehee*

i swear i'm so into this two man.
that bring so much loved & happiness to me.
that have add so much colours in my life.
that no matter wad i've done, they will support me.
that no matter wad i've done, i will be forgiven.
that protects me afraid i will get any hurts.
...
i couldnt imagine how much they've done for me.
i'm so touched deeply that i swear i'm soo goinggggg..
to love them for life..

i love you daddy.
i love you boyfriend.
♥

oh yah, theres two more man?
ehs, nahh. should say little boy.
thats my neighbour's kids.
they are just so adorable!
♥

esp when they called me jiejie.
my heart just melted ~ woot woot*
hahas! okay, they're just kids!
that can cures your sad emotions~
:D

okay, now back home.
sucky sucky sucky~
till here..

i hope theres still mahjong tmr !