habb ii lost myself.?
am ii still e same shinnyi as e past.?
ii felt ii'm no longer wadd ii'm.
ii'm nort habin e soul tat ish me,
nort habin e body ii should be in.
how.? )':

this few days ishh gettin terrible each dayy.
everyday so muchh sadness withh baby,
he sadd & ii also sadd. ishh lkyy real sadd.
it might sound small matter budd ishh actually
veryveryvery BIG!
theres a wall inbetween, ish blockin us.
why.? why must it habb a wall there.?
currently now, no feelin;no emotion;no thinkinn.
everything ish so blankk.
so muchh blankk.!
ii know. baby also feels e same as me.
or maybe more worstt bahhs.
baby olevel result nortt tat ghudd, plus our r/s
shouldd bbe feelin very terrible tuhh take all this.
sorry for nort able tuhh be ur side when ue nidd.
ii dunno wad tuhh sayy at times, ii'm lost.
ii'm confused. ii simply hate it.
andd ii hate myself.!

ytdd chatt with baby and unhappiness againn.
ishh lkyyii cant feel e past us, ii lost e feelin
or maybe ii dunn even wad does it feel anymore.
ii'm numb. no,ii hope myself tuhh be numbb.
slept late ytdd, andd almost cant wakeupp today.
budd manage tuhh. went tuhh band.
e practice was alright. budd at e end very jialet.!
huii wentt scoldinn badly and sam came iin.
he make e whole band went tuh bball court.
under sunn. andd scolded us.
well, of cos commiitte went worst.
talkked by allan&linsing. being punished tuhh runn.
2rounds and do alot of shoutinn.
and e band was under e sunn for ard 15-20mins.
went tuh habb sectional meetin.
and dismissed. almost break down when talkinn tuh my section
budd didnt. ii control and hope they will be ghudd.
didnt habb sectional today, habb a short meetin.
andd dismissed them . as they are alrdyy tiredd.
under e sunn and everythingg.
went tuhh habb lunchh withh mostly 2nd highh
and went home. while walkin home.
ii feel e peace ii nidd. so ii wanted tuh find a place alone.
andd ii went tuh e usual place, e staircase.
ii sit there. alone and starinn at e skyy.
ii feel more peaceful, ii feel e alone-ness ii nidd.
ii sit there andd unknownly my eyes ish cloud with tears
andd ii start cryinn. ii look at e photos and ii cry harder.
sorry baby for nort tellin. ii jus wann tat moment tuhh be alone.
e world seems moving very slowly for mme.
budd e world ishh still moving as usual.
it wont stop jus becos ii am downn. life are still going on.
after tat, went home. and blogg.
didnt tell anyone and guess no one know bahhs.
my smile will never wipe off no matter wad infront of frienn.
e real mme ish e one when ii am alone.
ii cann cry, ii cann shout, ii cann do anything
without anyone knowin. without anyone irrtupinn.

ii thinkk ii gort no energy lerhhrs.
nidd some break and rest.
BYES!

ii habb lost myself.

UPDATED:/
today was alright luhhs.
skuu as usual.

LOLS!
todayy was a slackinn day luhhs.
hahas. alot of free periods after all:]
art was petty slackinn.
although olevel piece nidd tuhh be done.
budd none are doinn. -.-
after cny bahhs. hahas.
ehhs, was online lookin at clothes.
was alright. quite nice budd rather go buy it myself.
nidd tuhh buyy:
1 NF jeann
1 heels
1 cardigonn {longg ddwerhs!
1 ILOVE my boyfrienn tee.
andd tats all bahhs:] cos moneyy ishh limitedd. :x
so onli cann buyy afew niia.

tmrr jiuu shii olevel result outt ler.
wishh all those takinn result e best:]
esp baby! habb more confident.
will be okhayy de. all e best!
todayy gort ss test.
was alright. ii did rmb all ii nidd tuh write
budd nort enough time tuh write.
so cannot finish luhhs):
plus tat time was quite emo-ingg.
dunno whyy. so was rather sadd.
tmrr gortt amathh test. yet ii haven start studyinn.
nno mood luhs. -.- budd ltrr will go study at least abit.
LOLS!

guess friendshipp was alright now.
everyone ish okhays with huimin now.
and it was lky DOTS!
uh-huh. nvm :]
gtg. BYES!

oop! :x seems tat long time never update ler!
hahas. too busy; too tiredd; too lazy :/
LOLS!

tue-fri. was skuu day.
sec4 life realli very diff luhhs.
every day ish lky soooo many hw until cannot finish.
habb tuhh sleep late also. so tired cann!
budd hab tuh do cos sec4 ler. cher also stircter ler.
plus cher de attitude also change ler.
so nort friendly :x
hehs. cannot joke de. misslee better.
at least she joke with us. although she very fierce.
budd her lesson tends tuh get boring at time.
always compre, compo, grammer. { goss! :x
wanna sleep ler lo. budd dun dare.
now all lesson ii dun dare tuh sleep. cos scaredd.
ltrr cher scold :/ { ii will scaredd de lehhs^^
budd overall still cann manage studies now. :]
hehs!

friendship arhhrs.!
still alright lehhs. except for afew lar.
xuewen,sandylee&tan, jiaying still okhayy.
marcia become closer ler. hehs!
as for jingg, cann bbe close budd she ish being stick tuh huiminn.
adeline, was alright. budd nort so close.
cos ii feel she ish nort a very ghudd frienn tuh me:]
lastly huiminn, aww!
ii dun lky her suddenly. her actionns too big.
aww! &more ppl start tuh dislike her man.
dunno why. maybe ish bcos her actionns & attitude.
realli sucks sometime?
budd sometime memories do bring up
&quite sadd or rather misses! ):
budd no matter wad. ii'm gettin fine now:]]]]
LOLS! LMAO' ROFL~

SILLYbaby&me x3s.!
my baby arhhrs! dunn ): ler .
ytd was a great miserable ii know.
next time wont happen ler okhay?
sooo must smile. { dunn worry be happy! :]
2008; thinggs went alright so far.
and thanks my silly baby for everything luhhs.
hehs. budd it seems lky ii gort lesser time for baby ler.
budd dunn worryy baby, ii will surely find sometime tuhh meet ue de.
cos ish paiinfull nort tuhh meet ue too!
miss ue too muchh! :E hahas.
actuallyy a hugg from ue; do lightup my day alot.
wanted tuh meet ue everyday budd ii cant. :(
sometime realli hope ue are living with me
under e same rooftop. so tat theres plenty of time
for me tuh hugg ue all ii wann! >< haiiyo.
ii become silly as ue ler. hehs! ;p
#1 baby, ILOVEYOU!
#2 ii dunno how ii cann bbe without ue
#3 ii dunwan tuh lose ue & ii cant afford tuh lose ue.
#4 ii dunwan tuhh be alone without ue.
#5 ii cann be stubbon budd ii cann do anything for ue.
#6 my life ish being lightup bcos ue are here.
#7 ii will neberr wann tuh let ur hands&huggs goes away from me.
#8 ue are my life;my soul and ii simply cant live without.
#9 my happiness; my loves! x3s.!
#10 my life hab missed out alot of thingy. ue are e one ii
wann tuhh discover them tgt.

hehs. baby, iiloveyouu luhhs! :E
lols. cny coming ler worx! {ang bao! :x
HAHAS! woot~ LOVES LAR!
budden theres sometime very sad luhhs.
cos think baby&me also nidd tuhh go backk malaysia.
dhen tat period of time ish really very wad can..
miss baby lkyy hell ler lo. cos sms sure very exp de.
plus ii go tat far sure cannot send de luhhs):
will miss baby alot de. haiiyo!
budd nvm luhhs. hehs. come back jiuu cann see ler.
dun worry be happi! :DDD
muackks!

haiiyo, my silly baby keep askin me sweettalk very him.
humpts! :x ii dunno how luhhs.
haiiyo. hehs. dunn care him :x o0p!
baby ue didnt see this har. hehs. :E
LOLS! dunno why simply LOVES my baby lar!
so cute de him. hehs. bleahhs ;p
kekes.

lalalas~ nthh tuhh update ler.
hehs! gtg'byeeeees!